He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
