Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
