I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dignity is for republicans.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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