Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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