I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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