So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
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I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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