I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
