STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
