just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
