What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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