Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
