I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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