Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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