what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize