Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
