If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So many bounce houses so little time
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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