We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Me too!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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