he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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