But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
