pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
