Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The ass gains better be worth it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize