How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
