Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
