... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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