eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize