she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
