GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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