How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
there's paper in my vomit.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
