if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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