Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
