I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
