THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
