He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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