I must be too annoying 4 u.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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