Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
