At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize