He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
