so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm at about main and main street
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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