I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
