You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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