I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
