You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
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What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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