if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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