you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize