Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
PANTIES FOUND
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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