so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
