Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
