About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
