the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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