i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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