There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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