i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
