i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
