Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
