Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
