all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
my poor anus
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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